When bicyclists attack

One afternoon in Richmond I was stuck in stoplight traffic at the intersection of Harrison and Franklin Street in Richmond, minding my own business, when I was hit by a bicycle. I repeat: sitting in a stationary vehicle, I was struck by a bicycle. It was my Civic who suffered the physical blow, though the whole ordeal left me traumatized for at least an hour. Most people are dubious when I tell them I was hit by a bicycle, especially when they see the cluster of dents left, not on the side or rear, but somehow on the top of my trunk. What kind of bicycling she was doing I’ll never know because I still don’t even understand how she hit me.

I’m sitting still, waiting for the light to change when out of nowhere I feel, and hear, the THUMP. Simultaneously I witness the thump’s cause in slow-mo through the lens of my rearview mirror. A mangled mess of hair and handlebars flies up, then down. THUMP.

Screen Shot 2016-05-19 at 9.30.14 PM

Thank you, Google Maps, for providing this quality screenshot of the Motherland

My chest tightens and in a lifetime of a second I experience the five stages of grief for what will surely be the loss of my freedom because somehow I’ve managed to kill someone while sitting still at a stoplight. Just my luck. Thanks, Universe. Mostly I’m shocked, even mystified at how this has happened. I can’t understand how I’ve just hit a person without ever moving.

I can’t tell you how much time passed before shock gives way to terror, then confusion and then, a rush of relief when the lady in question pops into my left side mirror, running toward my front window with bulging frantic eyes calling out, “Ohmygod! I’m so sorry!” Ohthankgod. It was her fault. I’m so relieved I could peed my pants (maybe I did?). I’m too stunned to say much save for a dumb inquiry as to the state of her wellbeing. Then the light changed and off I go, still in disbelief.

Later I notice the dent marks on the top of my trunk, presumably from her handlebars. To this day I have no idea how she managed to hit me the way she did. There’s no evidence of her hitting the car from the side or the rear; somehow she just wound up on my trunk, hair, handlebars and all.

Welcome to RVA.

Dear nephews and niece:

I love you all so very much, but I never get to talk to any of you little bastards. I’m writing this blog for you all, so that one day in the future you guys can look back and see just how awesome your aunt Cat(ie, whichever you prefer) really is. This is especially important in our family given that so many of them are embarrassing crazypeople.

Since I was younger than all of you are now (except for Henry, because, well, let’s face it Henry- you’re 2) my goal in life has been to travel and see the world. As of today I’ve barely covered a smidgen of good mother Earth, but soon amigos, soon… Insh’Allah (as they say in Arabic) I will go to Dubai next year to teach, and after I will go to many other places. Mark my words. In the meanwhile, I currently live in my home of four years, Richmond VA. Good ol’ RVA.

Anywho, I hope you all will enjoy this whenever you may read it. In the meanwhile I’m just going to keep it on the interweb, in the event that someone would like to plagiarize my inexcusably good writing.

Much love to you all. Kick your parents for me the next time you see them.
-aunt Catie